The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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