She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
