it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
