Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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