i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
