the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
