he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
