You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
