he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
