Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
