i just had sex bonerless
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
