Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
