i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
it's like iHOP with fire
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
