I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
...so i touched it.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
