cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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