Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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