Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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