blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You had me at "let me see your balls"
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
