He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You ruined the universe
Dear god my vagina.
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