New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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