I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize