She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
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