I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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