Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(757): View more from Virginia

It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.

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(914): View more from New York

Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I wasted some perfectly good semen on her

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(813): View more from Florida

right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.

(1-813): View more from Florida

only on the fourth of july.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"

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(865): View more from Tennessee

Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.

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(850): View more from Florida

Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.

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