We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
