K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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