so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
