When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
We talked him into tasing himself.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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