She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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