he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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