You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
