bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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