...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
