If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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