He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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