HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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