Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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