I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
