I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
