And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize