I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
