Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize