He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
