i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
