Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I smell stomach acid.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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