we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
