My liver just broke up with me...
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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