dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
