Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
FUCK WHALES
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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