Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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