I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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