Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
My balls are so social today.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
