Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
