Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He felt like a one man threesome
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
