Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize