tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
