Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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