They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
