John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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