I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize