you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
