She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
