I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
